Hmm...

I have reached the coclcusion that I have to develop my own values. I am discovering God, or the god who is the creator, on my own terms, on my own.
I have reasoned this far:
1) There is a god, and this god is a creator
2) This creator is compassionate, benevolent, and sovreign
3) There is something after death, in that humans have souls, or some kind of collective consciousness
4) I am not sure if this god/creator is the same as the Christian god, but this god is NOT the same god as the god of the Greeks, LDS, Muslims, but this creator/god may be the Jewish god
5) This god sounds an awful lot like the Christian god, but I am unsure about sin, as in I do not know how I value it
6) The "collective consciousness" is scrupulous, and compassionate
7) The Christian bible has truth within it, but I do not know if it is completely true
8) We, humans, have a purpose for being here
I don't know much more about what I believe is real, but I do know I like the Christian bible. More than the teachings of LDS, Muslims, Buddhists, Agnostics, or any such formal system of beliefs. I need to find out why I am here.

I am an idiot

I got into a pretty big arguement with a hard core agnostic this past weekend. The arguement lasted for about two or three days. By being a very young and naive christian (like most), i began my argument thinking, "This guy's a fool." Fortunately a neutral third party blew the whistle on us both, and told us "ENOUGH!" I took the down time from arguing and did some research on agnostics. I was so lucky that I am not the stereotypical christian he expected. If I was, he would have butured me worse than...well whatever is badly butured. Fortunately, there are some very good take-aways from the whole scene:
1) I learned first-hand about how agnostics think
2) I opened my mind to allowing room for another way of thinking
3) I had to think very, VERY deeply into and about the Word, which was what I was defending and
4) I proved to a very devout agnostic person that (a) there are newer, different kinds of christians in the world, and (b) we* know we are not always right, and some of us* will admit to it, and (c) not all christians are vindicative, judgemental, arrogant spiritual bozos.


*-'We' and 'us' being christians.

Church

Today in worship a man got up to deliver an anouncement and asked the following question, "How long has it been since you last felt the spirit of the Lord?" He spoke with a very monotone voice, no emphasis, just added volume and tremendous projection. But there was no enthusiasm to be heard as he spoke to us about revival and sunday school stuff. The very next anouncement was by a different man, with a different style. "What do you all think of when you think of great sports legends?" Then one lady shouted out "LONGBRANCH VOLLEYBALL!!!"

My friend Kale later remarked to me that it was kind of amusing that more people in the congregation were excited about playing volleyball than having a revival service. He found it amusing, I found it to be very much a large piece of proof that we, christians, when acting as we, the church, seem to want to leave spirituality out of our spiritual lives. I'm not attempting to speak against fellowship and fun times with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, such as church volleyball, I am wanting to understand why we don't seem to care about reviving the life force (the Holy Spirit) within us that allows us life (Spirtual, Eternal Life).

something to think about

I have something of a reputation. This is not born from lies, rumors, or gossip, but from actual fact, and personal testimony. I am a good listener. And as prideful as this is to say, I am. I like to listen to people, and I like to hear what they have to say.

However, the most common thing that I have heard this summer, is from three different, isolated people. The first was back in late June, early July. She was sad because he left her before preparing to go off to college. Various other reasons were factors, but this was the main one. My heart cried for her, and I hated to see such a friend go through something so hard. I really wished I could make it all better. The next was not too long ago, maybe early this week. She broke up with him because she is just too immature at dating. She doesn't understand it all, and she tucked tail and ran. Too bad, they're both great people. But, he called me, yesterday actually, and told me the WHOLE story. I understood completely, and the great thing was/is, he's got it all together. All bases covered, all scenarios thought through, now he is left with the trying task of waiting for her to come around. I feel for him, but I don't really have much more to say. My last has gone on too long. I've been telling her for months now to leave him because things are not right. "But they love each other." Love doesn't do this to someone it loves. Yesterday she cried and cried and when she finished, I told her to go to bed, and sleep on it.

As I have traveled from story to story, preson to person, my level of compassion has decreased. Why? If I am to give these friends the comfort and counsel they seek, I should give it to them with love and concern, right? But I'm afraid with each new friend I help, and each new friend I listen to, I become more and more apathetic, and see more and more friends as just another person. What should I do?

Ta Da!

So I'm really hoping this works. Let me know.

geoff